Ny-ord i klimadebatten. Knut J. Michelsen

 

Ny-ord i klimadebatten

Siden «klimafornekter» er kommet inn i Det norske akademis ordbok, er det kanskje på tide å produsere positive mot-ord? Litt humor får man koste på seg i klimadebatten.

Av Knut J. Michelsen

1: Klima-profitøren (alt. klima-svindleren)
er én som bruker en innbilt, fiktiv klimakrise, klimaendringer eller global oppvarming som en del av I) en forretningsmodell, II) en ideell organisasjon, III) et politisk program, for å:
a) øke omsetningen og profitten i modellen
b) søke, motta og leve av offentlige midler for å bekjempe «klimakrisen», altså bekjempe egne demoner på grei lønn og med minimal arbeidsinnsats. En tilleggsgevinst er selvsagt alle de positive tilbakemeldingene om at «du bryr deg».
c) sanke stemmer som politiker blant alle dem man har skremt opp, så øke skatter og avgifter for å «redde» de skremte fra «krisen» – samt det aller viktigste: unngå fokus på alle de reelle, tunge, ja vanskelige samfunnsproblemene man er nødt til å bruke mye tid, arbeid og krefter på – og som medieverdenen og journalistene synes er like interessant å skrive om – som å se maling tørke – ja hvordan vinne valg på noe slikt? Et lukrativt dramatisk skremmeskudd fungerer langt bedre som stemmesanker (i hvert fall til velgerne har avslørt deg som den vaskeekte klima-svindleren og klima-profitøren du er).

2: Klima-opportunisten: Du finner ham og henne spesielt i de politiske partiene. Merk da at alle politiske partier har en egen MDG-avdeling for ekte klima-troende. Klima-opportunistene har imidlertid en unik evne til å skifte mening. Det mest utfordrende er imidlertid NÅR man skal skifte. For mange er det akkurat NÅ (helt tilfeldig rett før valgkampen starter ordentlig) tid for å endre standpunkt når det gjelder den totalt miljø-ødeleggende vindkraften og fuglekverne-turbinene. Forretningsmodellen for klima-profitører, jfr. pkt. 1a, er så maltraktert av det folkelige opprøret landet rundt – at det bare ligger oppsmulte rester igjen. Merk da at skifte av mening IKKE trenger å være varig. Det kommer alltid nye muligheter for en opportunist. SV er et klassisk parti der klima-opportunister kan trives (som fisken i vannet).

3: De klima-troende (eller klimafile) strømmer helst til MDG. Et tre som blåser ned, en våt regnvinter, grønn plen i november eller hva som helst som kan trigge en troende, er tegn på undergang. Men også snø- og kuldevintre skal være gode bevis, fordi klimaet «endrer seg så raskt» (før var det ALLTID stabilt som vi alle vet). Dette er altså ekte og uforfalskede apokalypse-mennesker. Armageddon, apokalypse og ragnarok har imidlertid antakelig fulgt menneskeheten så lenge den har eksistert. Heldigvis er det uansett slik at det bare er de troende som overlever – og kan starte «en ny og bedre verden». De klima-troende i protestantisk utgave har også en egen link til Gud, og står i et særskilt personlig forhold til ham. Hans krav om overlevelse via klimakutt SKAL innfris – «koste hva det koste vil», ja «klimapolitikk vil KOSTE» (hilsen Tina Bru, med nettopp religionsvitenskap i kofferten). Klimakutt er altså et personlig trosanliggende. Å diskutere dette med fornuften er altså like produktivt som å debattere med blomsterpottene dine.

4: Klima-hykleren kommer nå i alle mulige varianter og utgaver (sist i NRK-debatten nylig). Sjefene for særlig de store statlige energiselskapene er mestere her. De vet at jobbene deres henger så utrolig usikkert og løst at de serverer klima-røret fra toppen, dvs. fra den politiske ledelsen, jfr. 1c, men også fra alle klima-opportunistene i departementene bortover, jfr. pkt. 2. På den annen side er det også greit at det følger med et statlig regelverk her (som få vanlige mennesker forstår og selvsagt ikke skal forstå) og som gjør at klima-hykleren kan tjene gode penger, og med det også hyggelig personlig fortjeneste (på skattebetalernes regning).

5:Klima-fascisten: Extinction Rebellion er en klassisk og renskåren klima-fascistisk organisasjon. Forbildet er tysk grønn politikk under en viss leder, som dessverre drev det litt for langt under siste krig. De vil – slik de selv fremstiller det i litt ulike uklare utgaver – ha et klimaråd som selvsagt skal stå OVER de folkevalgte organer, og som igjen skal kontrollere at alle lover som vedtas, er i overenstemmelse med klima-konstitusjonen og klima-læren, altså et vokterråd slik man har i det positive forbildet Iran. Nå er det ikke sikkert lederne på toppen her egentlig bryr seg så mye om klima – det kan være at de bare er rene og positive fascister som bruker klima som brekkstang for å få innført en langt bedre samfunnsmodell. Omlandet her er imidlertid fullt av klima-troende. I min kommune etablerer de seg nå. Velkommen. For ingen driver mer selvskading enn klima-fascisten (for det norske folk fikk fem år med denne politiske retningen – altså fullvaksinert mer eller mindre).

6: Den nest siste er klima-posøren: En vaskeekte medie-narsissist som bare har ett mål i livet – oppmerksomhet rundt seg selv og sitt engasjement for å «redde verden», ja oss alle – 24/7. I denne gruppa hører også en del journalister. Som ellers har de hatt dårlig tid til å sette seg inn i saken. Det viktigste er å løpe i flokk med resten av mediekollegene, som kollektivt har vedtatt å «tenke grønt i sitt arbeid». De har altså i praksis vedtatt å avskaffe sin egen profesjon i mediedebatten. Målet nå er heller daglig å skremme dagslyset ut av leserne, lytterne og seerne, slik at de blir mer formbare og betalingsvillige. Pressen er nemlig én av de helt sentrale aktørene i Det klimapolitiske-kompleks. Uten dem – ingen klimakrise.

7: Klima-naivisten er den siste i dette kabinettet. Biologen Dag O. Hessen er en av de fremste representantene her. Hyggelige og dyktige Dag tror han kan snakke om vippepunktet i miljø- og klima-debatten år etter år – uten at omlandet rundt ham i punktene over her skuffer miljø- og klimapenger inn i private kasser fra samfunnets fellesskapsmidler. Og hvis du tror det først og fremst er private selskaper som eksploaterer systemet her, så tar du kanskje feil. De fleste her henter daglig pengene sine fra det offentlige, de er politikere eller «frivillige» NGO-ere eller «jobber» i miljø-og klima-organisasjoner som selvsagt også kan være sponset av private næringsinteresser. Mange av dem flyter også mellom disse organisasjonene og politikken – som ål i mudret vann. Brageprisvinner Dag O. Hessens vinnerstunt på naivitetstoppen var da han skrev under på den famøse Aftenposten-artikkelen i mars 2019 sammen med «25 kulturpersonligheter og akademikere». Mulig han ikke engang hadde lest den. Det var en ren Extinction Rebellion-tekst. Verken mer eller mindre. Folkestyret – at folket styrer – er rett og slett ikke godt nok for organisasjonen Extinction Rebellion.

Følg med altså – her kan det komme flere «ansvarlige nyskapninger» i det norske demokratiet.

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